Here’s my whiny “this is not an actual problem” post for today. I keep seeing all these “purple up” and different celebrations honoring military kids in schools across the US for the month of April, which is apparently “Month of the Military Child.” What a fantastic, lovely thing to do.
*Cue whine that no one asked for*
Would have been nice to have some kudos when *I* was a military kid. No, instead we got the affectionate “military brat” name and “home is where your family is” and “family is forever, friends are temporary.”
We were equipped with either an apathy towards stuff (it’ll break or get lost in the move anyway) or an unhealthy obsession with stuff (this is literally your only constant in life, besides your family).
We military brats blessed ourselves with an early wisdom that unfortunately, unless you are a true psychopath, it is impossible to re-create yourself and assume a completely new persona in your next location of residence. You will still be awkward and weird, even if you get a clean slate to try again. You WILL fail at not being you no matter how hard you try.
We learned that sometimes all you need are a few strategic friends to make it worth your while til you go to the next stop. Strategic meaning: will sit with you at lunch, will not expect too much out of you or expect to keep in touch after you leave. We were the *best* at ghosting, even before it was a trendy thing- so ahead of our time. We learned quickly that the people we thought would be our BFF would in fact forget we existed approximately six months after our departure. This nugget of knowledge helped us figure out who we really wanted to hang on to, and to not get too attached.
We learned that even though some people would disappear from your life forever, it’s best not to burn bridges because the world is small and people turn back up when you least expect it. “Oh! Your dad got stationed here too, huh? Good to see you again… How was 2nd-6th grade?”
At some point we learned that the commissary/BX/PX was amazing and where can we go to buy things tax free now?? Also, we learn at some point that it’s only the military base movie theatre that begins every movie with a standing salute/attention for the national anthem. (Yes, that happened.)
We learned that not every base is great and not every military family makes it through a career unscathed. We learned that schools are VERY different in various parts of the country. Like 3rd grade in Alabama when I had two teachers: one white and one black, because apparently that was their solution to being diverse.
We learned that no one else says TDY for business trip, but some people outside the military know what a Dopp kit is. We learned that 20 years is both a long-ass time and a short time.
We learned (the hard way) that military medicine is not always top-notch and certainly not the way to go for major spinal surgery (just me?).
We learned that if your military parent goes on enough TDY’s, you might be able to finagle a puppy out of it. We learned that breakfast is for dinner when parents are tired and Taco Bell has cheap food when your parents haven’t gone up the ranks yet.
We learned that the windows rattling is most likely bombing practice or the jets flying, all perfectly normal experiences. A “hard landing” is a nice way to say crash. Deployed is a curse word, and you are extremely lucky that your parent never did it. Whoever names the wars does so to make the kids feel better about their parents leaving. “Dessert Storm” sounds like a Wild West movie, not what actually happened.
No one loves an acronym more than the military. No one.
Can we have a post-military kid appreciation day? We can have prizes for people who have lived somewhere longer than 8 years. Or maybe for those who have not moved their furniture around every 3 years. We can swap therapy insights. Has anyone been able to stay friends with someone post moves? (Family doesn’t count.)
I don’t know that I would have really appreciated or received the kindness that is being offered to military kids on these special days, but seeing it makes me realize- oh right- that was a weird ass way to grow up. I’m glad they’re getting some recognition for it.
I’ll give myself a post-military kid medal and be going now. Any military brats reading these? What are some of the weird habits or coping mechanisms you picked up from your weird upbringing?
