When I am in my depressive state, especially the times when I feel emotionally stable and OK, but just have no energy or extra oomph for anything, fantasy keeps me from falling into the deeper stages of depression where my emotions start to twirl and swirl downward toward apathy and despair. It can get existential QUICK, y’all.
Why does fantasy help me? I have theories. Fantasy is a different version of the romance novel formula. There is always an epic hero’s journey, a fight between good an evil or at least good enough and evil enough. In the end, at least in my version of fantasy, the hero wins. The hero may not win everything, and they will certainly have suffered for it, but in the end, it will have been worth it.
When depression descends, I need reminders that the hero wins. That the journey, even when faced with seemingly insurmountable odds, is always worth it in the end, even (and especially) the hard journeys. When existential dread knocks on the window of my soul, I need reminders of the BIG truths: Love, Beauty, Kindness, Goodness. I need to know that even, ESPECIALLY, if nothing really matters, that these Big Truths are enough meaning to sustain us. That they are enough to fight a seemingly losing battle over.
In fantasy fiction, the matter at hand is not always the Big Truth. The battles may be meaningless and arbitrary, but the friendships, love, connections, those are the real reasons for the fight. The fight and how they got there is never really the point, even though the scenes are drawn out and graphic. The point is always that they are there now, in the present, and they have to face it. That’s so very helpful with depression. When I am feeling super-not-great, if I start to think about why I’m there, how I could potentially have prevented it, or how I can figure out a way not to be in it, it places me in a downward spiral of no return. There are no good answers to those questions, despite what a healthy person may think. It does not do to dwell on the what-ifs or even the prevention/practical aspects of depression when you’re already waist-deep in it.
Think about someone with cancer. Do you tell them how they could have prevented it? Not in the moment they are in treatment. Maybe after (or before) when they can actually act on those suggestions. But when you’re in it- you need treatment, not prevention tips via the guilt and shame hotline. “Oh, maybe you should have eaten an all-organic diet.” Thanks Karen, I’ll be sure to hate myself for all the bad choices that clearly led me to this point.
So, fantasy fiction is actually the perfect example of how to address the chaotic crazy thing in-the-moment. Sure, you’ll see depictions of folks bemoaning their state (and that is part of the healing nature- seeing the hero struggle), like the famous conversation between Frodo and Gandalf in LOTR:
“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
Gandalf is the voice of reason coated in love for those of us in the darkness, reminding us: no one likes this, no one, but we’re here and the only agency we have is the one today, now, in the darkness. We can’t lift the darkness through time-travel or prevention after the fact. Certainly not through our own guilt or shame. ALL we have to decide is what to do now. We don’t have to decide, interpret, discover, or figure out why we’re here. We ARE here, what we do next is the decision. This reminder is IMPORTANT. The “Why?” journey, as tempting as it is, is a quagmire of sinking sand.
Fantasy reminds their audience that the present is all that matters, and the present is all we have any LIMITED control over. The present is our place to survive and maybe even thrive.
Take the Hobbit by JRR Tolkien: did the dwarves really HAVE to live in the mountain with their gold? Did they HAVE to kick out the dragon? (Well- they had hoped he already died, but oops, spoiler alert, Smaug was still alive.) I guess, no. I mean, they could have lived in the nomadic lifestyle they had, etc. Gandalf had his ulterior reasons for getting them there, but even that he started to doubt at times. In the heat of battles or on their journey, the group could have bemoaned their choices (which they do), but they don’t try to undo those choices, they keep moving forward. That is the key ingredient in surviving and resilience, is to keep moving forward, even if you have to fake it til you make it.
In the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling, things continue to look increasingly impossible, insurmountable, and unjust in the burden that a few people must bear, but fighting for love and friendship always beats giving up. This reminds me as a person with depression to remember those that I love. Even if I feel disconnected in my depression, I still love them, they still love me (even if depression might make it harder for me to believe). If I can hold on to that on the mustard-seed level, it’s enough to keep me tethered to the anchor of Big Truth.
Harry Potter: I’ve been thinking about something Dumbledore said to me.
Hermione Granger: What’s that?
Harry Potter: That even though we’ve got a fight ahead of us… we’ve got one thing that Voldemort doesn’t have.
Ron Weasley: Yeah?
Harry Potter: Something worth fighting for.
From Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) | Produced by Warner Bros.
Fantasy reminds me that heroes don’t usually feel heroic: Frodo (LOTR), Harry (Harry Potter series), Bilbo (The Hobbit), Bastian (Never-ending Story), Alice (Alice in Wonderland), Peter, Susie, Edmund, and Lucy (The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe), Jonah (The Giver), James (James and the Giant Peach), Meg (A Wrinkle in Time), Arthur (The Once and Future King), the list goes on and on. We need more women though, mmkay?
When I feel down, I need to see BIG truths, BIG struggles, REAL characters (not by species, but by heart), and present-tense battles that ultimately, ultimately, ULTIMATELY show good and love winning. Thanks to fantasy, I have this and more. If you’re feeling down, I know it seems odd to look to these epic journeys of darkness for hope- but I’ve found them to be helpful. Give it a whirl.
